I'd like to say I know quite a few things. If you asked me questions about classic literature or to quote a line from Scrubs, I could probably do it. Though I believe there are many things that cannot be known with certainty (such as the nature of our existence), there are others that would really be helpful in certain situations. For example, I have an afternoon coffee date today with a gentleman who I cannot remember the name of!!
GASP! How does this happen you ask? Well, I deleted our previous conversations that held the name. You see, we have been chatting online, back and forth, for some ungodly amount of time. He had to leave the country for work (this sounds legit to me and not like he is a serial killer. Though swingglers we do want to take precautions to weed out the weirdos as best we can). Thinking we would never actually meet up, I just deleted our messages. Now, we are meeting to have coffee and I have no idea how to greet him. Maybe a nice, "Hey....you...I'm Stephanie!" Yikes.
The last time I did not know the name of the person I was going out with it ended disastrously. I mean disastrously!! I was a sophomore in college. A friend of mine who had transferred to another area school set me up with a friend of hers. She mentioned his name, but I could never fully remember it. Thinking it would be no big deal to not really know much about him, I agreed to go on a date. From the beginning things were a nightmare.
Kyle, we'll call him (I still have no idea what his name was) picked me up 2 hours after he originally said. Now, you might be thinking, "Maybe he hit traffic." Yes, swingglers, this would be a possibility if we lived in an urban area at the time, but traffic was never an issue where we lived unless a heard of cows got out. So he shows up and asks what I want to do. I said anything sounds nice, but maybe we could see a movie. He agreed, but wanted to grab dinner first. I obliged and we headed out. Not hungry because I had eaten an hour into my waiting for him, I sipped a diet coke while he ate and told me a sob story about how he had a negative balance in his bank account and hoped his card worked to pay for the food. Not knowing how to respond, I made chit chat about his major. He said and I quote, "I recently switched majors from History to PE." I asked him why to which he replied, "I don't really like reading or books." Yep, he was an idiot. Unable to release myself from his grasp, the date continued with conversations about politics to which we did not agree on anything, how he intended to be the manager of a professional football team without reading, followed by him paying more attention to the sports on the television in the bar than me.
Kyle and I then uncomfortably made our way to the movie theater. He let me go first, so I bought my ticket and waited for him. He tried to buy his ticket with his credit card, but at the time cash was still king. I offered to take him to an ATM so he could withdrawal cash, but remember, he had a negative balance because someone "hijacked" his account. Looking to me to pay for him, I simply asked the ticket holder if I could sell my ticket back. She said yep and the date ended there. That's right, I sold my movie ticket back. Maybe I was too hard on him, but in that moment I thought, "Why should either of us have to suffer through anymore than we already have." So, I had him take me home. Later I heard from my friend that he thought things went really well aside from me not kissing him good-bye. Kyle or whatever your name is, please.
We will see how this no-name date goes today. I figure I can't sell coffee back. Win, Win. Wish me luck!!